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On March 22nd, 2001, Cee fell critically ill. What we thought was a case of stomach flu turned into respiratory arrest. The paramedics
came and rushed her to the hospital. She arrived at the emergency room in a coma, with respiratory, renal and pancreatic failure. She wasn't expected to live.
Chris: My world was shattered. My soul mate and life partner of ten years lay dying and I felt ripped apart. Emptied out. Torn from a world of sense and
order, harmony and love, and plunged into a storm of fear, abject loneliness and deep despair. I began to doubt all my personal beliefs. My physical and
spiritual worlds were wobbling on their axes and I feared they would go flying off in the darkness of space at any moment.
I knew that if I were going to help Cee fight to stay alive then I needed to find my spiritual moorings. We had just moved into a new home a few months before
and had begun to lay out a labyrinth. I grew up with Benedictine nuns who instilled in me a love of contemplative walking and I had always wanted a labyrinth.
So now, out of desperation, I went home, grabbed a hoe and scratched out a seven circuit labyrinth in the sand beyond our back door. Then I plopped a picnic
table bench down in the center and proceeded to walk my makeshift labyrinth.
In the long weeks and months that followed, I drew inspiration, strength and deeper spirituality from my daily walks. My walks kept me calm, and allowed me to
sleep at night, certainly a miracle for me. I went for a physical and my doctor was amazed at how well I was weathering the stress. I suffer from Post Polio
Syndrome and excessive stress can put me into a wheelchair quickly. But through all of this, I only had a mild bout of paralysis, lasting only a few
hours. My blood pressure stayed normal and all my lab work came back with excellent results. I credit the healing power of the labyrinth with helping me
to rid myself of the destructive demons of doubt and despair that were haunting me. I was able to take all my fears and burdens into the center of the labyrinth
and leave them there, returning to the world refreshed and strengthened.
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Here is our labyrinth in the summertime, surrounded by native grasses and wildflowers. In the background is 14,109 feet tall Pike's Peak,
30 miles from our home. This area inspired the words to the song "America the Beautiful". These peaks do appear as "purple mountains'
majesty" surrounded by "waving fields of grain". This area is an old Native American healing ground and you can feel the power in the
labyrinth. The center seat situated itself due west. (You must always ask a labyrinth where and how it wants to be situated -- and it will lead you
to the proper placement.) The labyrinth is traced in the sand and the circuits are lined with "driftwood" (i.e. the old trunks and branches of dead
sagebrush and turkey grass bushes).
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Cee: I remember little of my five weeks in the Intensive Care Unit. I can remember some of the dreams and visions I had while in a coma. I remember going
to a Native American place of healing. I could see and feel the spirits of loved ones and friends all praying for me. At one point I was asked to make a
decision whether to return to our home or to leave this world. I close to return to Chris and our life together.
Chris: Cee remained in a coma for almost four weeks, fighting a 106 degree fever, massive infection and a body chemistry that was so far out-of-balance
that the acid in her system was causing her to bleed internally. A ventilator was doing her breathing for her. The doctors hooked her up to continual dialysis
to filter and cool her blood. Her blood sugar was 1400 when she entered the hospital. She had never been diagnosed as diabetic, had none of the traditional
warning signs, and didn't have a family history of the illness. A sugar level of 600 is sufficient to cause a coma. Cee's was more than double that. The high
sugar levels caused a massive yeast infection which entered her blood stream and attacked her eyes, destroying parts of her retinas.
Cee: When I finally came out of the coma, I couldn't move. I couldn't talk. I knew I was in the hospital but had no idea why. I had a huge fear of being
left alone. I've never felt more vulnerable in my life.
Chris: She would get angry with me at first. She couldn't understand why I wouldn't take her home. She had IVs in both arms, a ventilator tube down her
throat to help her breathe and a tube to draw out the blood and stomach acid. And coming out of her neck were the lines carrying the blood to and from the
dialysis machine. She just didn't understand that all of her gear wouldn't fit in the car!
Cee: Finally it was moving day. Not home, but upstairs to the Rehab Unit. I knew I had to have some physical therapy but I still didn't know or
understand what would happen next. All I had working was my head. I could make faces and blink my eyes "yes" and "no". I still didn't have a
voice. I couldn't wiggle my toes or fingers or call for help yet.
The Rehab doctor explained that for every day you are bed ridden you lose one percent of your strength. I had lost more than 50 percent for the strength I had
before the coma. He also said that it takes twice as long to get the strength back as it did to lose it. I have had to learn to do everything again: wash my
face, brush my teeth, drink from a cup, eat my food. All the simple things in life seem new to me as I have to feel my body and learn to move again.
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Cee's hospital allows the Rehab patients to have park outings with their loved ones. Here is part of our family. From left to
right: Hannah (our Golden Retriever), Kano (our Bearded Collie), Dorie (our adorable St. Bernard), Chris, Cee, and CJ (our Bearded Collie/ Dalmatian
mix). The cats stayed home....
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Chris: I had to deal with a lot of partner's survivor issues, my own mourning and grief, my release of fear and anger. The more I worked with my
labyrinth, the more I wanted to tell others about the healing a labyrinth journey can bring. I experimented with different designs for finger labyrinths so I
could bring them in for Cee to use.
Cee: We settled on an acrylic stained glass design that can be used as a sun catcher. I have mine hanging in the window of my room in Rehab. I used to
stare at it often and trace the labyrinth with my mind since I didn't have the strength to hold it and trace it with my fingers. Now I have the strength and
coordination to really use it.
Chris: Now we're developing a program to bring the labyrinth in to the Rehab Unit for the staff, other patients, and their families to use. It is our
intention, our dream, to take this labyrinth program to the other units of the hospital, to hospices, to any place where healing is needed.
And the story continues.... Cee came home on 5 July. Chris is working to make the house fully wheelchair accessible. Cee continues
to have a visiting nurse treat her everyday. Physical and occupational therapists come twice a week. She's standing and beginning to take her first
steps now, four months after she became ill.
She's had to adjust to many things... loss of independence and personal dignity (since she must be cleaned and changed like a baby), disabling muscular
weaknesses that are forcing her to relearn the simplest of things, dealing with adult-onset diabetes, and getting used to not having snow outside. She
left home in March when we were still having spring time snow storms and returned home in July when the temperatures were approaching 100° F. We had
moved into our new home at the end of last year and Cee has now spent more time in the hospital than she has in our home. But she's back, getting stronger
every day...
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We want to thank so many wonderful people who helped to make this an inspiring story of a miracle.
We thank our angels, the nurses of the Intensive Care Unit of Memorial Hospital in Colorado Springs, CO. These women and men were incredible, untiring
and passionate in their dedication to heal, comfort and encourage.
Thanks also to the fabulous people of the Rehab Unit who helped her to learn how to move, feed and clothe herself, walk, and become whole again.
If any of you ever doubt the importance of what you do to save and improve shattered lives, we hope that you will revisit this page and remember the
struggles and triumphs you see here. Remember the tears and the laughter, the discouraging setbacks and the magnificent successes.
We bless you and hold all of you in our prayers. Thank you!
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